when i grow up

I am twenty six by years I have lived,
I am past growing, technically, 
I don’t need to worry that I will overgrow,
The coat I bought a year back,
I don’t have to be concerned about buying expensive sneakers,
I know they will be a fit for life, 
But I still feel this nagging feeling,
That I am yet to grow up,
Not grow but grow up,
I feel small in the world controlled by adults,
Who already know their game,
Some of those younger than me,
Have already grown up,
Have found their passion, calling or resignation,
While I am still shuffling possibilities,
A chance perhaps to start a virgin venture,
To feel things for the first time,
To be someone who I didn’t dream of becoming,
Will that ever come to pass,
Will I ever grow up?
Or is my life a one giant trial,
Having a shot, Never ever becoming,
Always wondering, how it feels to be a grown up!